Whenever I have a yeast infection I get the feeling that my cooch is infuriated with me. And all I want to do is yell back at her, “I DON’T KNOW WHY THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU! MAYBE IT WAS THAT NEW LUBE THAT I TRIED THE OTHER DAY, OR MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE MY PERIOD JUST ENDED AND MY HORMONES ARE ON THE FRITZ OR MAYBE MY PANTIES AREN’T BREATHABLE! WHO THE FUCK KNOWS! JUST STOP TAKING YOUR ISSUES OUT ON ME, YOU TWAT!!”
But then I calm down and tell her it’s all going to be ok. Kind of like telling a little kid who scraped their knee to calm down and stop crying while you pat their hair. I realize that she is just very sensitive and vulnerable right now, especially after she’s been wounded for seven days. So it’s understandable that she’s going to be a bit touchy. It’s not her fault that the slightest thing will set her off into a frantic fit. So I treat her gently, send her positive energy, give her some space, and by about the third day or so the little lady is usually back to her old self. Then I can rest easy and swear never to use anything but my favourite lube ever again.